Criss Angel – Magic For Dummies

Now that it’s Halloween, it’s time to expose myself to children when their yuppie parents are on their cell phones talking to their hairdressers about which color would most bring out the fading color of their eyes and disguise the fact that their face is looking more and more like a catcher’s mitt due to tanning daily at full radiation. Small children can then use my tushy as a standard that helps us all. “Hey, I have a tushy too!” There is no better feeling than to know that others share your most intimate traits. Remember the first time you saw another penis or vagina? When you were a kid and played games with them. Creepy stuff indeed, but all in all, it made us realize that we were not alone in what lurked beneath our clothes. Now, ironcally, I LOVe being alone with what’s under my clothes! How wild is that.

Segue: Criss Angel

Does anyone know why this guy isn’t passed over as just another David Copperfield / Blaine rip – off? Have’t we seen this before? Are we this desperate for more skater-looking guys for teenage girls to plaster all over their walls? He looks like a ferret with a tried-so-hard-to-look-like-I-didn’t-try-so-hard look. We’re blurring the line between men and women here friends. Don’t let this happen! Demand that men look like men. All men should look like they belong in either ZZ Top or AC/DC. If not, they should have a good reason why. A job is a good one. A knock-off of past magicians’ mojo isn’t a job, it’s a niche created by our pop poop petri dish infecting airwaves and brain cells. Final note: The dude lives in Vegas. I thought that what happened in Vegas STAYED in Vegas!!! STAY IN VEGAS you corporate Mr.Potato Head. They build you to be the new “Master of Illusion”. You just look silly man. Please reduce the primping and preening. Leave it for the ladies. Your show is cool though. I never saw it. Have you read my blog? Prob. not. So until you read my blog I won’t watch your show. AND if you read my blog, let’s do an interview so that NakedEric and his readers can understand the man behind the makeup.

I once saw him make a matchstick disappear. He then made it reappear somewhere else. That inspired me to head to the throne to drop some kids off at the pool.

To prove that I’m not the only one here, here’s a ditty from a site about the femme magic man.. Check out the site. I’m not making this up.

Hey Criss Angel….

The ball-less wonder, Criss Angel. Not only did he let everyone know that he was dating
Cameron Diaz by giving a ‘cryptic’ shout out mentioning the Shrek tour, which was tacky in it’s
own right, but turns out, he already had a WIFE at home. Turns out he left her for star-fuc*ing.

Man, grow some nuts, doode!.I’m Not The Only One With Something To Say About C.A.



This Is Such A Good Way To Kill Someone!

Back in the diggidy day, when operas ruled concert halls, theatres, and penny arcades, people were often portly Supposedly, there were countless guys wearing wigs. Wine and beer was crazy! Believe me, if I was there, I’d be such the Mack Daddy with wild wiggidy wigs. What a cool random thought! I’ll tell my therapist next week!

In a show called bones, they are discussing a murder where the corpse (The Vic) was found in a Haunted House called Dungeon of 1000 Corpses. The place was filled with fake corpses. No one noticed the dead body nor did they attribute the smell of decomp to anything other than the Halloween show that was going on. Finally a little girl puked and someone called the puke police. They then called the real police. Then, they realized there was a REAL deady in the house! They finally found it, but there were no witnesses due to the darkness and the nature of the show. If there was some real a-stabbing, people would look and go “ooohhh! Stabbing!” then lick their lollies and kiss their daddies. Super kill!

So, if you ever want to go to a HAUNTED HOUSE AGAIN, you may not want to read on. Ooops, that should have went at the beginning of this ditty. Or right after my rumination of the past operatic showmanship. Shhhh. I’ll do all the talking around here. Hence:

If murdering a person is a task you intend to engage in, wouldn’t this type of location be a perfect place to do it? It says so on TV! Now that Johnny Cockran (sic) the satanic lawyer who is now being anally plowed in a fluffy fireball of hell, has died (yay!), there are no more lawyers capable of getting murders caught red-handed found innocent of murder. What a run-on sentence. No! Stay. My dog just farted. We are so similar, my doggy and I. OK, back to murder.

Do you know what I mean? By the time they found any evidence, or the body at all, I’d be in another country. Of course I wouldn’t leave until I wrote down exactly what I did, step by step on NakedEric for all of you to enjoy!

::insert smile here::

Note: I would never kill anyone. Never meaning … not NOW.


More On Thompson – Neo Nazi Band From Croatia (By Popular Demand)

The NakedEric posting on Thompson has been very popular. I see this as no surprise as it is very interesting to me as well. Due to the popularity of this posting, I decided to research this band / political group in more detail to bring you information on the topis through the NakedEric lens of perception.

“Thompson” is actually Marko Perkovic. Marko takes the stage and sings song that praise the Holocaust and promote Ustaše, the Croation pro-Nazi regime that sent Jews, Serbs and Gypsies to concentration camps during WWII. The folk-metal musician is often greeted by audiences with a Nazi salute. He’s been kicked out of Canada and the Netherlands for hate speech, only to be welcomed by Manhattan’s own Croatian Center in Midtown. In the pictures I have included here, you can see the fans saluting the singer in a behavior that has the Constitution bending as it bears the weight of this expression of Free Speech. NakedEric is all about freedom and I respect the boldness of Thompson’s muse. He seems to be inspired by hatred.

However, unlike those espousing hatred before him. I mean bands like Deicide (Means “The killing of God”) and Slayer, Thompson has managed to create a movement of ultra-conservativism without outright violence or spectacle. This is what has the band’s opponents so frightened. Thompson is actually a pretty good band…

There have been some missteps along the way that have even his own neo nazis questioning his beliefs. Thompson is not totally embraced by American neo-Nazis, who’d rather berate Jews, blacks and Hispanics than Serbs.

A Canadian, whose screen name is option_violence, made it clear that this kind of white-on-white genocide is not welcome by stating thus:

“Thompson isn’t a neo-Nazi band; they are Croatian Nationalists whose songs focus on their love for Croatia, the Croatia people, and their religion. Their songs also focus on their hatred of the Serbian people, another proud White race… Thompson drew heavy criticism—and rightfully so—for their recording of Jasenovac i Gradiška Stara. Now, my Croatian is a little rusty, but I believe the song is a tribute to a WWII slaughter of Serb troops in the Balkans.”

“I do not support them or their music if all it will do is continue to create divisions between the different white nations, namely the Croats and the Serbs.”

I find it interesting that those withing the community of hate have strict guidelines within that dictate the proper way to hate and clearly, if they are not followed strictly, one’s hate can be well, wrong. Wild, huh?

Therefore, it is fair to say that Thompson is a hate pioneer. Using an amalgam of hatred types, he has designed a new platform using a form that is perhaps the most influential. Folk rock music. What this shows us, at least in America, is something that we have known and harbored a blush or two for. We will believe rock stars before we believe politicians or other leaders. This is what frightens Thompson’s opponents the most. He’s a rock star. He has more street cred than teachers and parents. Espousing his lyrics and worshiping the man is a bona fide form of teenage rebellion. However, it is slighly different than growing your hair long and staying out past curfew.

I will dig more for tidbits on this interesting phenomenon. But in fairness, I will close with a rebuttal from a post on Village

To whom it may Concern:

I am a American – Croatian. I am writing you this email to implore that you refocus you attention musica and lyrics in our own counrty and leave Marko Perkovic alone.

Marko Perkovic and his band are certainly not one-dimensional. Earlier in his career, Perkovic recorded many love songs to accompany hits that were centered around Croatian social themes. Since his career took off during Croatia’s fight for independence, many of his songs were battle-cries that called for the legitimate liberation of Croatia. Croatia gained official international recognition in 1992. Contrary to negative propaganda and outright lies, with his songs Thompson inspired Croatians in the liberation of their homeland. Thompson also recorded songs portraying the plight of Croatian soldiers after the war. Stories similar to the stories of Vietnam Vets in the United States after returning from war. With his more recent albums, Thompson has centered the themes of his songs around the natural scenic beauty of Croatia and three values that the overwhelming majority of Croatians hold dear: God, family and the homeland. Thompson has never called for crimes against civilians, nor has he glorified war-criminals from the past or present. These accusations are simply preposterous.

God, Family and the Homeland

Thompson has on numerous occasions challenged anyone opposed to him or his music to prove their false claims and accusations. He has challenged ALL his opponents to listen to his songs, obtain translations of his lyrics, and finally learn the truth about his music. Once again, the main themes of Thompson’s songs are about God, family and the homeland. Thompson promotes dedication to the faith, family and patriotism. NOT nationalism. Patriotism. These are themes hardly worthy of controversy and the kind of negative publicity surrounding him and his band.

The worst of all false accusations flung at Thompson is that he is the author of a song called: “Jasenovac & Gradiska Stara.” Contrary to negative propaganda, Thompson is not the author of this song. He does not, nor has he ever, performed it live. It cannot be found on any of Thompson’s seven albums. We challenge ALL his opponents to listen to all of his recorded work and learn the truth for themselves. Once again, we challenge ALL to obtain copies of his official albums; and to refrain from viewing or listening to propagandistic montages constructed and posted on the Internet by anonymous Thompson-haters.

Marko Perkovic is a Croatian patriot that loves his country dearly. He is not a member of any political party in Croatia, nor does he have any affiliation to political or activist groups within or outside the country.

Just as we Americans love our country, Perkovic loves his. Just as Jewish-American love their heritage and Israel, Perkovic loves Croatia. And so do Croatian-Americans. So do Croatians world-wide. With his music, Perkovic simply channels patriotism and love of the Croatian heritage. His songs inspire Croats to live honest lives, cherish family, honor God and be faithful to the homeland. To Croatians in the United States, this translates into the respect of not only the Croatian heritage, but of respect to our American heritage; into respect for the great nation that in the past granted amnesty to Croatians that sought refuge and freedom from oppression.

I thank you for your time.

Joe Torre Is A Quitter. The Deal He Was Offered Was More Than Fair.

Joe Torre quit us, fellow fans. He was offered a deal that eclipses all other Managers’ deals by MILLIONS! He has bee a LOSER of late and losers, like poor salesmen, get Performance Reviews. Sometimes, even untouchable homies like Torre have to be called a failure. He won a lot. Granted. He lost a lot of big games though with teams that are so rife with talent, they should have walked to the World Series. They had a payroll equal to the GDP of many small nations and still failed to shine. He made innumerable oopsies and for that he was given an incentive-based contract that could net him even MORE MONEY! Torre just quit. Oh, and A-Rod quit too. What a dark, dark time for the Yankees. Watch in slow agony as A-Rod begins trying on Mets and Red Sox uniforms. Look, Here’s an article that agree with me! Note: If you don’t agree with me, then I still love you.

Click Here!

I am not a Yank hater

NakedEric Album Review – HURT “Vol. 2”

When you sit down, stand up, or hover and begin to ponder putting words together to express your feelings regarding an album that nips you in places that have no name, it often amounts to quite a daunting task. HURT is the most underrated and unknown great band out right now. That is a fact. Anyone who listens to their previous effort, cleverly named, “Vol. 1” immediately sees this omission of HURT in the gilded halls of super de duper bands of the day. Day! Vol. 2 is not only a “go hump yourself” to the Sophomore Jinx, it is one of the best albums I have heard in ten years (at least). Go to iTunes now and buy it. Go to Best Buy now and Best Buy it. It has a shiny white cover. Ok. Now, as you listen to Sunners Lost and Ten Ton Brick, recall what I am saying here. Come back and comment. Somewhere say, hey nakedE you were right! Why? Well, I am going to campaign actively for an interivew whith the gents from HURT. I want to find out how they pull this together so perfectly and what they are going to do when they inevitaby explode into superstsrdom. So, HURT, if you are reading – contact me so we can plaster this blog with HURTAmerica. I’ll even write the interview clothed in hopes that we can sheathe my pecker. Well, not we, I would never ask HURT to sheathe my penis. I would organize a charitsble event where they could play. I have done this before with a ….

OH MY. I am so tired I am falling asleep at the keyboard here. I have to continue this later, aaeaekkkk

Buy HURT “Vol. 2” and then surf over here. by then we can both go on nd on not capitalizing “By” and leaving the “a” out of “and”.

HURT rhymes with BURT.

HURT Vol.2  = MasterpieceHURT Vol.2  = Masterpiece