I am known to read a lot by those people who have penetrated my deadly, but fluffy, inner circle of poisonous accumen like a virile hatred for the misuse of the comma (more on that later) and a sex-like love for run-on sentences that, if were so inclined, would indeed up and run off to some other white laptop where it wouldn’t be so overworked (never mind underpaid) and forced to live as a politically-correct “it” lacking any hopes of procreating with other word sexies who throttle the jets of other verbs, nouns, and sometimes even the wily adjective. Let us point to the getting here and speak about n author who can write WELL and has far less self-depricating attempts at fishing for a compliment than NakedEric (who likes to refer to his alter ego in third person). I talk, of course, of the super-duper Vince Flynn. His existence is reason to cheer! His books are reason to sit and stare at words for several hours. Some call it reading. I call it playing with my imaginary friends. In the case of Vince Flynn, those friends would be armed conspirators hell-bent on mass murder and political upheaval. Hmmmm, methinks, perhaps not so “imaginary” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge – for more on these topics see my article on our Neo-Nazi folk singer, Thompson). Alas, I digress. I also perspire and long for a woman to love me and make me brownies and falafel. Are you she?
(I’m going to take a quick break and eat my tomato lentil cous cous whick I coused myself!)
I decided to eat it while I type so if I make any spelling errorz or spill cous cous on your new stockings, shut up.
Vince Flynn’s “Protect and Defend” is a mover and without ruining it for you, it takes place in the water. It also takes place on land. Several characters don’t speak English, but Flynn deftly kills them off so we don’t have to deal with that SAP crapola. Right? Bueller?
If you read this amalgam of words and expected a review, then hark! The herald angels sing! I am on page 87, STOP RUSHING ME! I am only writing to commemorate my love for all of Flynn’s books. If you have not read them, do so. I would not steer you wrong. I would not steer you at all. What a freaking weird concept! hark!
A synopsis of the Vince Flynn style:
Mtch Rapp (think James Bond on steroids with a laptop) is a world heralded “secret” agent. Yes, it’s possible because Rapp is THAT good. He is responsible for dealing with the menaces of the world that are conspiring to attack America. Without fail, the conspiracies run deep and blur your mind with their wow factor. Did you ever read a book and think, “Thank God this guy’s a writer. If he wasn’t he’d be very good at being a bad guy.” Like Stephen King. Ever wonder what he’d be doing with all of these sick ideas in his head is he wasn’t merely writing them down? That’s how powerful Flynn is but without the rabid dogs named Cujo. The conspiracies are so tight and believable they seem like they were pulled from the headlines. The characters are built without boring the reader while simultaneously providing the level of detail that makes you feel like you “really know the guy/girl/homo”. As of yet, there have been no homos in Vince Flynn’s books. Lots of pedophiles though. Well, one, but he was fat and very rich and lived on an enormous yacht in Monaco. See, THAT kind of life could drive even skinny people to pedophilia. What did I just say? Edit that out Steve. There is no Steve. Oh my God. I’m alone in here. HELP!
I’m back. Sorry. So, in our post-9/11 lives, it is pertinent and palpable to envision the conspiracies Flynn so deftly knits, wrong word – I meant WEAVES into the plot to cozy up his vivid characters and action sequences that will have your eyes bouncing like you’re watching a tennis match. A homo tennis match. Tennis rhymes with Dennis. Dennis is my Uncle’s name. Maybe Me and Vine Flynn are related!
So kids, go get the book. Vince Flynn is one of the best writers out there today and certainly the best in the Spy Thriller genre. Protect and Defend go get it now! Free receipt with purchase…