Jessica Simpson Banned From Cowboys Locker Room


After the worst game of his career and a super duper humiliating defeat, Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys have decided that they know the cause of this pathos. Well, it’s Tony’s pop tart girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, of course! Simpson wore Romo’s jersey and cheered for him in the stands. There wasn’t much to cheer for (thanks to her…) Her evil karma pervaded even the biggest of helmets, that of Terrell Owens. T.O. had this to say about the official BANNING of Jessica Simpson from the locker room:

“Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium. I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she’s probably taking his focus away.”

 

The interesting part of this blowup is: I’m sure that this is either completely ridiculous or precisely accurate. Further, I have a query for Tony. Tony, why did you leave Carrie Underwood? I had come up with the best nickname for her that requires you two to be sleeping together. Hark, I dub thee “Carrie Undertony“. Now my clever quip is no more than nostalgia. The same nostalgia that is sizzling up the locker room of the Dallas Cowboys – Wasn’t life much better when Jessica was with Nick Lachey? They were as annoyingly cute as Brad and Angelina are annoyingly beautiful.

 

Well, I hope that J-Simp got a good glimpse of something in that locker room. I hope she got to see some of something she certainly is not – an athletic supporter.

 

-NE

 

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