Steroids – Breakfast Of Champions

So what?  Some of the best players in baseball took HGH.  I am clear on the fact that I morally reprehensible in many ways, so as I opine here it may be of rotten mind.  I just don’t see why everyone cares so much.  Don’t you dare toss that “integrity of the game” crap at me as a reason.  “Integrity” went out the window when players began getting paid more than the GDP of Malaysia to chew tobacco and fondle their plastic genital goalies.  We have a wonderful poverty problem – No, EPIDEMIC in this country.  All while Closing pitchers can make over $10 million a season for throwing 10 pitches per outing (NOT EVEN EVERY GAME!)  “Integrity” was lost about the same time the “American” pastime got busted by karma for having the cheddar to call its championship games the “WORLD Series”.  A classic American maneuver of eating cake and having it as well.  I don’t recall much “Worldly” representation in the eponymous series.  Our penance – baseball is now the LATIN American Pastime.  Japan coming up strongly from the rear to further, ironically, make the American Pastime a truly Worldwide phenomenon.

Digression over.  Steroids.  In football they could cause a man to kill another.  Same goes in hockey.  Not so much in poker, golf, equestrian, and baseball.  My main problem with the massive overreaction to this “scandal” is that the offended can’t seem to settle on what it is that they’re offended about.  This is usually a clear sign of a weak platform or an ill-at-ease soapbox.  Bad example for the kids, unfair competitive advantage (super bull poop), breaking the law (more poop), health issues, blah, blah, buhlahh.  I am all for steroids.  Strictly for its comedy.  I love the idea of Roger Clemens hunching over a bent-over Andy Pettite with a syringe full of blood candy and then plunging it bang on into the buttock.  I am smiling right now.  It’s funny.

I like a good competitive game with superhuman feats galore.  Hence, I love steroids.  It’s an evolution of the game.  It’s like NASCAR found a new hyper fuel that will propel cars into orbit.  The downside is, more crashes.  DOWNSIDE??  Isn’t that what we watch NASCAR for?  Thus, I think that we should entertain these freakishly competitive and overpaid athletes. Let then hunch and puncture each other.  Geez, baseball would be so boring without it.  Think of all of the major events that held us rapt during the past few seasons.  All of them involved superhuman feats most likely fueled by steroids.  So I give kudis to the discovery of this new fuel for our coddled athletes in a mundane sport.  Now it is more exciting.  All thanks to steroids.

…and if this new fuel causes some more fatal crashes, all the better.


steroids in baseball


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