Presidential Putz

As far as research goes, I am a middle-of-the-road half-breed with multi-faceted hyphens.  I like to collect my information carefully, like a man moves during sex to avoid premature climax.  In this case, I had a quickie and looked in the Enquirer.  I did this because I felt like part od the brethren.  You see I too wanted to inquire.  I wanted to see the most heinous thing printed by the fine folks at the big E.  Blessed Poop, did I find it.  Check this out…

(pic from Perez)

john edwards

  Could this be true?  If so, then this is what John Edwards done gone and did:

  John Edwards, super personal injury attorney turned politician caused some emotional injuries of his own.  While his wife battled bravely against an incurable cancer that is slowly killing her, he snuck around to hump a lady (let’s call her “mistress”, okay?)  Oh, and while this infidelity is blooming, Mr. Edwards was running for the office of Leader of the Free World.  I guess he was freely banging the mistress one day when a rogue sperm fertilized the lassie.  Now, the man who has betrayed his marriage vows, his dying wife, his family, the American people, the mistress, and didn’t even think to confess any of this or stop being a bad boy wants to be YOUR President!  I Trust I Can Rely On Your Vote, Mr. nakedEric Reader.  Oh, and by the way, a huge part of the crumbling platform I have stood on for about a decade or so is my deep Christian faith.  ::Insert snide comment here::

  God is just plain silly sometimes, isn’t he/she/it?


– NE


2 thoughts on “Presidential Putz

  1. No word from the Edwards camp just yet. I’ll keep you posted. ::pssst, i’m not holding my breath:: ::pssst, I don’t understand why I felt the need to put a comma after the pssst. See, this time I put a period. I wonder if I could write the onomatopoeia without punctuation after it!:: ::pssst, DAMN!!::

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s