Ashlee Simpson Releases “Outta My Head”, Goes Into Straitjacket

The more interesting and less talented Simpson has surprised many of us by not sinking into mushy nothingness. In fact, she’s equipped with a Gucci-like straitjacket in her new video for “Outta My Head”. Perhaps she has gone crazy and is now promoting it, or it is another attempt to plug Ash into a niche that fits. “Outta My Head” is clearly a byproduct of the terrible lashings she has endured by journalists seeking talented performers or those disappointed in her hoedown on a “live” appearance on SNL.

Even this collaboration with Timbaland, a renowned star maker, can’t manage to rise above the quality of your average commercial jingle. Seriously, her voice couldn’t sound more synthetic if it came from a Speak and Spell (if you don’t know what a Speak and Spell is, look it up. It was the most freaky toy ever made). I’ll spare you my review of the song/video because, for some reason, I genuinely want Ashlee to make it. I want her to trump her older sister who has been in a freefall of likability since she broke up with Nick Lachey. True? Also, she’s now messing with Tony Romo and the Cowboys. That is utterly unacceptable. But, I digress…

Ashlee’s new release is crap. However, it is crap of the kind that people tend to scoop up these days. I have overheard innumerable conversations in which someone says, “That Paris Hilton song is actually pretty darn good!” However, Paris has a sex video and anyone who knows Jim Norton or pop culture’s basic tenets, you can do no wrong once you release a decent sex tape. While I’m on the subject of sex tapes and Ashlee, I know a hot, smarmy Blogger who would love to write, produce, direct, and co-star in such a tape (Ashlee is one of my guilty pleasures)

Best thing about this “friend” of mine is – He’s already NAKED!

Good luck Ashlee. You really are horrible, though.

-NE