Massachusetts Teenage Pregnancy Pact Turns High School Semesters Into Trimesters

12 young ladies, high school students, had a neat idea to pass the time.  Well, pass ALL of their time actually.  They pinky swore (the High School version of a Notary) to all get babied up together so they can share the thrilling experience of raising humans as a team.  If logic and reason didn’t exist and there was no such thing as reality, this would be the greatest idea ever.  Funny, I remember when girls wanted to play house they bought Barbie dolls and were tickled pink with giddy teenage bliss.  Version 2.0 apparently supports live birth and, although the toys take longer to deliver (about 9 months) it is so worth the wait.  These Barbies act just like real babies.  This is a step in the right direction, it seems.  As the Jamie Lynn Spears Parenting Doctrines are now fully absorbed into our young female population, having real babies is a great way to gain media attention and truly make a difference in the world.  Our culture is on a steep slope downward into the pooper.  We vigilant NakedEric readers know this very well.  All we needed was a stark example.  An incident so extreme it serves to define and illuminate our place in the dig deeper into a cultural abyss.  Now we have it.  There’s not too much to say other than “What’s next?”

  Oh and how frightening that question has become, hasn’t it?  If 12 High School kids can so casually reproduce a la carte, we are in for some wild new tricks.  Awww, kids these days.  Makes me long for those days of walking my High School hallways trying to figure out how to have sex with something other than my stolen Playboys.  Socks, pillows, hands, they can be functional but never did I hear a girl actually discuss the conception of a live child as a consequence for the satisfaction of this throbbing pubescent desire.  The kids are quite daring these days.  I am truly amazed by this story.

  Does anyone else know more details about this “Pregnancy Pact”?  Please help us out here.  I’d love to examine this social phenomenon and celebrate it for what it truly is – A new low.  A stark example of the unraveling of childhood in America.  There is no more adolescence.  in 2008, High School isn’t measured in SEMESTERS any more.  Now it is clearly measured in TRIMESTERS.  Yikes.



Daddy, Please Get Better

Daddy, Please Get Better

for my father Glenn.  may God be patient in reuniting with his earthly angels.


Daddy, please get better

Only I can be sick.  I’m the one that’s supposed to fall

I am bedridden on school days with questionable infirmity

You are my hero and heroes don’t fall

I followed your size 10 ½ footprints

All the way to adulthood because I love to stay just behind you

As you worked each day harder and with more strength

Than any other man alive

That is why you are my hero and why I implore

Daddy, please get better

Now that you fell down

How can I make myself walk

Any more?


I slept not tonight as I lay so far away.

I would do anything at all to take your illness from you

And throw it on my back with this gruesome load

I’ve come to bear.

I would suffer a million times to have you back at home

Picking up the pieces after another financial mess I’ve made

Or sleeping soundly by the television you love so much

In the backyard grilling burgers for our humble cookouts

Then taking your kayak to the lake with Mom.

I am always proud to see you play

Basketball games each sunny day

Now the team is crying foul, the great inspirer needs a time out

But please make your rest short and come back soon

Daddy, please get better

Before your magic guitars

Fall out of tune.


You may not remember, but I’ll never forget

What you said to me if I fell down while at play

“Boo Boos hurt for a while

then they go away.”








Make it look like purple.  Like.  Not all about real.

In a sense, you’ve missed the gist

I work daily to heal the whoops and end up in the down.

where is the savior when I look around?

why do I ask questions for no other reason than its look on a blinky screen?

miracles abide.  Hours go by as I struggle to take my time.

I’m fine.  Heros notwithstanding I fall to my feet.

Stop for a minute an look at the face you’ve wriggled into for today’s

social marathon.  27 miles of “why am i doing this”

start a business and start a fight.

in the end, your capacity for rhetoric

will always make you right.


Ann Coulter Is My Friend.

Anne Coulter Shooting At Howard Dean

NakedEric and Ann Coulter have become friends!  Do you want to know the secrets behind the kid?  She likes to have fun.  A party girl, she is.  She loves New York, and talking with alarming speed about her view on any and all issues.  I plan to interview her here.  She has no idea about this, but I want to get to the bottom of her iconoclastic conservative flavor.  As the Election gears up, it is imperative that I bring her to the forefront on this site.

So, open invitation, Annie.  I would like to take you out to dinner and drinks in Manhattan and pick your ample brain.  The we can go back to my place and watch RAMBO (The director’s cut!).  Off the record you can tell me all about your perfect man and I will show you that I am, indeed, him.  We’ll fall in love and I’ll buy us a boat.  Then we’ll write children’s books.


What Are The Democrats Doing Now?

It\'s Gonna Get Ugly...

  “Since Hillary didn’t win, I’m definitely voting for McCain.” – common feminist response

  I am lost with the logic here.  Obama and Clinton did not have massive rifts between their views.  Both are solid Democrats with their own blend of experience, passion, and charisma.  Now, the root of the situation facing the Democratic part as if nears the Convention in Denver is to solidify a clear stance on important issues.  All issues actually, but that may be asking a bit much from the “Anti-Bush” platform that seeks to, in their own words, “Undo everything Bush has done to get our country in such a mess.”

  Well, it goes without saying that, if elected, the first African-American President will bring a unique and vastly different style of Executive leadership.  But he, and the Democrats as a whole cannot run on the “Anti-Bush” platform any longer.  It is a moot point.  The man will be displaced from the White House next year and replaced with a new tenant.  So, get down to details Dems and start establishing your party as one with a mind to think without “unthinking”.  We need a very strong, decisive leader this term.  America must feel like our safety and finances are being taken seriously with new programs to use, no longer ignore, the passionate cries of the regular people in becoming a Party For The People.  This will fail, however, unless Obama can tone down the rousing speeches a bit to illuminate policy plans as they relate to the betterment of the Union.  Democrats weakness that will easily be spotlighted with consistency and intensity is their lack of ideas beyond those that induce applause during a campaign speech.  Time to get real kids and craft a plan to somehow outdo a candidate from the GOP who is a venerated war hero and one of the most effective Senators on Capitol Hill.  Critics say, “So What?  He was captured and held prisoner in a VC prison for a couple of years.  This is not bravery.  Well, kids, here’s the skinny:  McCain never sold out his country, Unit or Secrets to gain freedom from the camp.  He refused to give up sensitive information despite being tortured and nearly starved to death.  His bravery and resolve will be hard to refute without substantial IDEAS.

  And no, simply promising to “Undo what Bush has done” won’t get you anywhere.  Americans want answers.  Time to stand and deliver Senator Obama.  Lay it all out and use your sharp intellect to elevate the campaign beyond mere brute force.  You have the talent to lead our country to better places.  Time to start firing those brain bullets.  Hit ’em with all you’ve got.  Fresh ideas delivered with your trademark charisma will go a long way to securing your chair in the Oval Office.  Resist the rhetorical anti-Bush crapola.  Deliver substance and we will deliver you a nice tudor home in Washington, D.C. – on us (the taxpayers)