Massachusetts Teenage Pregnancy Pact Turns High School Semesters Into Trimesters


12 young ladies, high school students, had a neat idea to pass the time.  Well, pass ALL of their time actually.  They pinky swore (the High School version of a Notary) to all get babied up together so they can share the thrilling experience of raising humans as a team.  If logic and reason didn’t exist and there was no such thing as reality, this would be the greatest idea ever.  Funny, I remember when girls wanted to play house they bought Barbie dolls and were tickled pink with giddy teenage bliss.  Version 2.0 apparently supports live birth and, although the toys take longer to deliver (about 9 months) it is so worth the wait.  These Barbies act just like real babies.  This is a step in the right direction, it seems.  As the Jamie Lynn Spears Parenting Doctrines are now fully absorbed into our young female population, having real babies is a great way to gain media attention and truly make a difference in the world.  Our culture is on a steep slope downward into the pooper.  We vigilant NakedEric readers know this very well.  All we needed was a stark example.  An incident so extreme it serves to define and illuminate our place in the dig deeper into a cultural abyss.  Now we have it.  There’s not too much to say other than “What’s next?”

  Oh and how frightening that question has become, hasn’t it?  If 12 High School kids can so casually reproduce a la carte, we are in for some wild new tricks.  Awww, kids these days.  Makes me long for those days of walking my High School hallways trying to figure out how to have sex with something other than my stolen Playboys.  Socks, pillows, hands, they can be functional but never did I hear a girl actually discuss the conception of a live child as a consequence for the satisfaction of this throbbing pubescent desire.  The kids are quite daring these days.  I am truly amazed by this story.

  Does anyone else know more details about this “Pregnancy Pact”?  Please help us out here.  I’d love to examine this social phenomenon and celebrate it for what it truly is – A new low.  A stark example of the unraveling of childhood in America.  There is no more adolescence.  in 2008, High School isn’t measured in SEMESTERS any more.  Now it is clearly measured in TRIMESTERS.  Yikes.

-NE

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