U.S. Warns Of Deaths From Bed-Wetting Drug.

I have often said that the world is hilarious in a sick sick way.  Of the guilty comedy variety comes the deadly bed-wetting drug.  Side effects may include NEVER WAKING UP AGAIN!  But hey, you’ll be a dry corpse…

WASHINGTON, Dec 4 (Reuters) – U.S. health officials alerted the public on Tuesday about the deaths of two patients who were treated with a prescription drug to control bed-wetting.

The Food and Drug Administration said it was unclear whether the drug, desmopressin, had contributed to the deaths. But the agency said nasal versions were no longer approved for treating bed-wetting and doctors should consider other options.

Desmopressin is sold under the names DDAVP Nasal Spray, DDAVP Rhinal Tube, DDVP, Minirin and Stimate Nasal Spray. Makers include Sanofi-Aventis (SASY.PA: QuoteProfile,Research) and several generic companies.

Other forms of the drug “should be used cautiously” in patients at risk of sodium imbalances that can be caused by over-hydration, the FDA said.

The agency reviewed 61 reports of patients treated with desmopressin who developed seizures related to hyponatremia, when sodium is too low. Two of the patients died.

“The direct contribution of desmopressin to the deaths is unclear,” the FDA said in a notice posted atwww.fda.gov/cder/drug/InfoSheets/HCP/desmopressinHCP.htm. The patients who died were ages 28 and 80, FDA spokeswoman Susan Cruzan said.

Thirty-six seizure reports were associated with intranasal forms of the drug, the FDA said. Those versions should not be used in patients with hyponatremia or a history of the condition, the FDA said.

The agency also said treatment with desmopressin tablets should be stopped during episodes that may trigger extra fluid intake, including fever, recurrent vomiting, diarrhea and vigorous exercise.

Sanofi-Aventis spokeswoman Terri Pedone said the company had removed the bed-wetting use and updated the warnings and other sections in the prescribing instructions for its desmopressin products.

(Reporting by Lisa Richwine, editing by Gerald E. McCormick and Braden Reddall)

The Web’s Most Searched Words And Phrases

I like to see what people that are not me are interested in. This is how I keep writing such cutting-edge, poignant articles. I honestly don’t believe what I wrote in the previous sentence. So, according to The New York Times, these are the most searched words and phrases. Drugs was #29! Yikes! Hoot!

1. microsoft»
2. apple»
3. bush»
4. colbert»
5. immigration»
6. china»
7. iraq»
8. global warming»
9. india»
10. health care»
11. linda stein»
12. iran»
13. imus»
14. gay»
15. none»
16. education»
17. obama»
18. hillary clinton»
19. sex»
20. oil»
21. marathon»
22. school shootings»
23. halloween»
24. merrill lynch»
25. science»
26. obituaries»
27. korea»
28. turkey»
29. drugs»
30. california fires»
31. college»
32. crossword»
33. mexico»
34. art in review»
35. citi»
36. cancer»
37. politics»
38. real estate»
39. democratic debate»
40. africa»
41. food»
42. water»
43. business»
44. maureen dowd»
45. war»
46. blackwater»
47. taxes»
48. japan»
49. world news»
50. women»

“Kiss Me Honey, Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny”

I want to make a commercial.  Man, woman, picnic, sun, dog, tag, you’re it, and all of the other parts of an idyllic Summer’s day.  Laughing.  Food being inserted into cranial orifice.  Chewing, rolling on green fluffy grass and not a stain or meadow muffin to dampen the glorious horizontal pirouette.  Now with woman a distance away from rolling with such zeal, he turns to the camera and says,

“This may look like a picnic.  But when my doctor told me I had Penile Excrement Evanescence , there were to be no more picnics.

I was always wondering, ‘can they see?’  ‘does my wife worry when I am at work?’ or “Does my Chad smell like a hammer?”  It was not easy.

That is until my doctor told me about a new pill called Peninoscos.  Peninoscos lets me live the life I’ve always missed due to PEE (Penile Excrement Evanescence).   Now, in a wide range of flavors and potencies, Peninoscos had redefined our sex life.  No longer will my wife vomit on my nipples and tell the dog to lick it off.  She will not have to dig up a doody from the toilet in order to kill the smell of my penis.  Neighbors will stop calling the police to report a dead body only to find me and my wife naked holding a shit with the dog licking vomit off my nipples.  That can be quite embarrassing.

(wife finds a pogo stick and pogos into the dirt beside them, getting it stuck, falling off, and falling on the bottle of wine, smashing it and slicing her face, filling a wine glass with blood from her eviscerated noggin.  Man turns his head back to face the scene and excuses himself from the “interview sequence”.

Couple Scene Resumes)

Man dabs at her bloody wound with the picnic blanket when the wife says:

“Mark, I smell it again.  Did you –

(man cuts her off)

“No honey, I did not take my peninoscos.”

“Well take it so our picnic can be magical again!”

(man takes the pill and passionately kisses his wife)

“Kiss me honey, Kiss me where it smells funny”

Now a chorus sings the tag line as the commercial ends.  A passionate chorus repeats:

“Kiss me Honey, Kiss me where it smells funny.”

(Fade Out)

Voiceover: “Use only as directed”