When I was a kid. There are certain temporal tidbits that are designed to induce boredom and other unpleasantries amongst those who emote. I emote. The key is to keep the words close to the indicated line of fire by the super-duper title dangling like a male sexual organ over your whole scrot(yum) of an article. It truly does work like that.
Submissions to The Onion don’t work. They do if you’re keen. Are you keen? If so, I will reconsider…
I will read your blog and take off my final shred of clothing. My lizard tail anal prosthesis.